Students supporting students
One of the most valuable resources that students have during their time at University is each other. Students are likely to look to each other first for help in thinking through issues and for emotional support, but there are times when this can leave friends feeling overwhelmed, out of their depth and unsure how best to help. If you are finding it difficult to support someone, we have 5 simple suggestions:
1. Be realistic about what you can offer.
2. Remember your responsibility to look after yourself. Don’t feel you have to prove what a good friend you are by always putting your friend’s needs ahead of your own.
3. Help build a support network. It is not a good idea for you to be your friend’s sole or main source of support. The burden could be too great for you, and you could also lose objectivity. Make it clear to your friend that it is important he or she has others to turn to as well, and that you have someone to confer with when needed.
4. Encourage your friend to seek professional help. It may help to explore what is getting in the way of seeking help, and to help them overcome those barriers. For example:
- If your friend sees going to a doctor or counsellor as a sign of weakness, encourage them to see that it represents taking responsibility for their own situation and getting the help they need.
- If they worry that getting counselling makes them ‘abnormal’, try to normalize it for them. If you have had counselling yourself, it might help to let them know this. Or you could mention others close to you who have been helped by counselling.
- If they don’t think it will be helpful, encourage them to keep an open mind: they won’t lose anything by going for an exploratory session with a counsellor, and they might discover that counselling has more to offer them than they had previously imagined.
- If they are anxious or scared about getting help, you could offer to stay with them while they phone their GP or the counselling service. They may also appreciate the offer to walk them to their appointment.
5. Get some help for yourself—when you are in a difficult situation and unsure how to manage it having someone to think with can make all the difference.